Commit to Fit | Week 13-15
The past 3 weeks have been hellish and the most challenging as far as balancing my professional and private life. At times I didn’t know if I would make it through, but I did by taking one day at a time, taking some deep breaths and am stronger for it. One of the causalities of that challenge was my blog entries but they are back! Now that that mess is over and I am starting a new week, I am focusing my attention on the positive things that happened during the past three weeks and looking forward to the weeks ahead. I have tried hard to put the last weeks behind me as I continue to break through my mental wall and two events stand out most for me as examples that there is light at the end of the tunnel for those of us that believe we can do it and make it happen.
Above all else, last week on 06.19.12, I officially exited the 300s! F*&$% Yeah!! I weighed in at the Eating Free offices with Sarah and my new weight is 299.8. 28 lbs total lost (Beginning weight was 327.8). Body fat went from 44.3% to 41.2%. My confidence soared from a 10 to a 100 that I can continue on this journey and be a success. I am a success and I actually believing it now! I haven’t weighed less than 300 in honestly 15 years at least. Tuesday was the brightest spot in an otherwise string of darkish days of struggle….another few bricks knocked out of the wall I have built around myself. My next target weight is 275, then 250. Even though I will strive to hit those number in the next 3 or so months (hopefully less), I have really come to realize that I cannot get caught up in a number. Mike, the wisest of trainers, keeps reminding me that I need to focus on the positive happenings I am noticing in my day to day life, in addition to my workouts and nutrition. I am – but I am still learning that I cannot be so dependent on that external validation of all I am doing a decreasing number on the scale feels like it brings with it.
This past Saturday, 06.23.12, was Gay Pride Weekend in SF. After dealing with a small fashion crisis of which I am still not able to fit into my rare/one of kind t-shirts from my 20 year collection – but will be wearing them by next year – and finally deciding on a great outfit, I headed out to the Castro with my closest bros and then down to Civic Center to walk around the Pride Festival. I hoped to find out if anything healthy came on a stick this year and to check out what Pride was suppose to mean to me. Our group walked around the Civic Center/Soma area for about 3 hours, jamming to the music, learning about new support organizations for the community, having a cocktail or 3 and enjoying some eye candy. The funniest thing of all – I found Mango-on-a-stick – and the small Vietnamese woman who served me knew the portion size. I was buzzed and that mango stick seemed the best thing on earth at that moment! I was stoked to find that mango because I felt myself being drawn to the pork chop on a stick stand and I didn’t want to go down that grease laden road.
After all of our partying, it was time to head back to the car which was parked back in the Castro on a steep hill that you needed to walk up 2 other steep hills to get too. I wasn’t dreading the hills but…ok, I was dreading them. I admit it. Surprisingly, I hiked it up each hill without stopping and without being out of breath! Mike was right – hundreds of squats do allow you to do new things! At the very top of the hill, next to parked car waiting for my friends to make it up, I had Pride, felt it deep within my heart. The Pride I felt at that moment had nothing to do with me being gay and celebrating that, but everything to do with me being HEALTHIER – and happier for it! The twinkle in my eye had never been brighter.